I am the Flame
by SiriuslyPadfoot12
Summary: This is the last installment to my quartet, Wonderful Life. It is about Sirius Black's thoughts as he was dragged through the halls of Azkaban. Story 4 and final installment in the Wonderful Life Quartet!
1. I am the Flame

A/N: This is the last installment in the Wonderful series. It describes how Sirius felt as the Dementors dragged him down the corridors of Azkaban. As always, the characters belong to J.K. Rowling. The poem belongs to Stephanie Tallett. Enjoy!  
  
I am the Flame  
By Meagan, a.k.a. HpGrl  
  
I am the flame,  
Fighting to burn.  
The strong gusts of wind,  
Stab me in turn.  
  
The Dementors dragged me through the hall. Fight as I might, I couldn't release their strong grip. My eyes were wide and were darting to the walls for some sort comfort. Lily and James were dead, and it was all my fault. I told them to switch to Peter.  
Screams of torture filled my ears. The prisoners were all at the bars and were shaking them, like wild animals. This was all a bad dream... It had to be.  
Cold inhabited every part of my body. Visions of Peter's empty house and of the explosion filled my head. Try as I might, nothing could stop it. It filled my head... Lily and James dead... All my fault...  
Scenes flickered inside my head. I shook my head and wrenched at the Dementors' grips. My eyes were brimmed with tears. The mere remembrance of my school days was enough to make me sob. Somebody help me!  
  
I am growing weak,  
From forcing my light.  
But I will not die,  
I'll try to be bright.  
  
Every step I took seemed like a million miles. As I slowed and started to drag my feet, the Dementors wrenched me forward. I screamed in agony. How come I couldn't have picked Peter out as Voldemort's spy? The same reason I persuaded Lily and James to pick Peter as their Secret-Keeper.  
I always thought he was just a weak, sniveling little baby. I was wrong. Peter was the spy all along. Why couldn't I have told Remus about the switch? He could have defended me!   
The thought of Remus made my head spin. Moony. I'm weakening. I'll die in here! Moony, oh, Moony! Why couldn't I have told you! Dementors... Secret-Keepers... Lily and James... Voldemort... Peter...  
It wasn't me! Oh, it wasn't me!   
I fell to my knees. "No! I'm innocent! Peter did it! PETER DID IT!"  
  
I bite and I lash,  
Defending my light,  
I burn the wind,  
It shrinks back in fright.  
  
I could tell the Dementors were abashed at my sudden change of spirit. Their rattling breath sucked at the air. "It wasn't me!" I shrieked again, "I'm innocent!"  
The Dementors wrenched me up again. They dragged me faster, the Dementors jerking my forward every now and then, to interrupt my thoughts. No, I was headstrong now. Nothing could suck this thought away from me. It wasn't a happy thought. How much longer was this walk of endless misery?  
Stairs. Stairs leading downwards, into the earth. The high security cells. They were putting me in high security. Lily, James, if you're still there, why don't you help me? You know it wasn't me! Help!  
I snarled and tried to pull away as the Dementor's grasp grew stronger. To my great surprise, it seemed to twitch. Was this a sign? James? Prongs, old pal, are you helping me?  
  
I've gained respect.  
The wind has backed down.  
My light I reflect,  
To many a town.  
  
The Dementors threw me into my cell and I crumpled. I heard the squeal of metal against metal as the door swung shut. I jumped up and ran to the door, shaking its bars. "I'm innocent!" I cried. The Dementors flinched again but continued to walk down the corridor.  
The other prisoners were at their bars too, trying to get out. They all had half-crazed looks on their faces and bulging eyes. Their hair was messy and they shook bars wildly, looking for comfort. I turned away, looking at my future home.  
Water dripped down the walls and a cold draft blew through the hall, chilling me to the bone. There was a bed in one corner, a lumpy, uncomfortable looking bed. There was also a tap. I ran my fingers through my hair.  
I'm innocent... I'm innocent... I'm innocent...  
The words ran themselves through my mind. Every part of my body ached. When will I wake up from this horrible nightmare?  
  
I am the flame,  
Shining my light.  
Guiding my family,  
Throughout the night.  
  
Lily, James. Please, forgive me. I would have been your Secret-Keeper, really! I thought it would be better if you choose someone weaker than I, that wouldn't look like a Secret-Keeper. I thought it was a grand plan, one that was sure to work. But I was wrong. What's going to happen to Harry?  
Harry looks just like you, James. He's got his mother's eyes, though. Yes, Lily's beautiful eyes. How I wish I could see him grow. I would have taken care of him. I really would have loved him. He would be just like my own flesh and blood.  
I'll try to be strong, James, Prongs, my old buddy. I'll be strong for you. I won't let these sorrowful thoughts get to me. I'm innocent, that's all I care. If I'm innocent, that means I didn't actually kill you. That means if I didn't actually kill you, you are still my friend; you are still with me.  
I remember when we were at school. I remember the Marauders. I remember you and Lily clearest of all. Always walking side-by-side, hand-in-hand. You were like my brother James; I would never have wanted this to happen.  
  
I am the flame,  
Grown since that night,  
My family is all,  
One can see in my light.  
  
I wish you were here today, James. If you were here, I wouldn't be in Azkaban for a crime I didn't commit. I can hear your laugh ringing in my ears. That joyful, jolly laugh of yours. Like a bell ringing through the silence. You were always laughing. I've never hear you cry.  
Lily was the perfect match for you. You two were always together. You both had a beautiful son. You were like family to me, why did you have to go? I feel so alone. Moony thinks I've murdered you, but how could I ever do such a thing?  
I looked out of my cell. Thoughts tormented me. I fought to clear my head.  
No... I'm innocent... I'm innocent...  
  
I am the moon,  
Now old and wise.  
A brilliant lantern,  
That glows in the skies.  
  
I looked at the moon, out of the window at the end of the hall. A large, glowing orb that hung in the sky. I closed my eyes, coldness drowning my senses. I put my head against the smooth, cold bars of my cell.  
I'm innocent... I'm innocent...  
James, I'm so sorry. I never wanted this to happen. Why couldn't Voldemort taken me instead of you? You had a wife and a child. Who did I have that was that special to me? No one. I was less important.  
I'm innocent... I'm innocent...  
Harry needs someone to look after him. Someone older, someone he can look up to. James, I promise you, I promise you, I'll look after Harry. I'll protect him from Voldemort. I'll protect him from Wormtail. I'll keep him safe. I'll treat him as if he were my own son.  
I promise James, I promise.  
  
"You know, Harry in a way, you did see your father last night... You found him inside yourself." -Albus Dumbledore  



	2. The Wonderful Life Quartet

The Wonderful Life Quartet:

!!!!!!!!!!! 


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